Steph Curry is the most exciting shooter to ever play the game of basketball, you don’t need me to explain that to you. So when he pulls up from 30 feet with two defenders draped on him everyone watching the game is fairly certain that the ball is going to go through the net. Hence where the “Steph Curry 30-footer Pick of the Day” name came from. I’m not confident enough to call these picks a lock, and I don’t want to deal with the angry emails of how you had to remortgage your house off a bet that I lost you. I don’t need that on my conscience. So these picks, for the most part, will always go in but I’m not going to get 100% right. My one mission is to make you feel like a dumbass if you have a different opinion than me.  

   You know who bets on NBA Tuesday night, the NBA equivalent of watching a movie in the middle of January (looking at you M. Night Shyamalan), the same dude who is desperately trying to finance his crippling gambling addiction with a journalism major. I don’t make smart decisions.

   On this day we are blessed with the Milwaukee Bucks giving 6.5 points to the Detroit Pistons to round off our parlay needs. Or, maybe you need a quick couple bucks because Valentine’s Day is coming up and all your assets are tied up in Super Bowl prop bets. Why not piggyback off of technically the best team in the league?

   The Milwaukee Bucks have perfected nerd basketball. Gone are the Kidd days of unwatchable offense and feelings of underachievement. We live in a new day of Giannis at the five coupled with Brook “Splash Mountain” Lopez to get a made for 2k death machine team that’s a collection of sprawling long, athletic limbs. According to NBA.com, Budenholzer’s squad is second in the league in shots from 5-14 feet, second in three-pointers attempted and third to last in long twos (15-24 feet). Crazy how maximizing scoring output will lead you to the second-best offense in the NBA at 117 points a game.

   Back to the sprawling limbs comment though, what elevates this team beyond just “Moreyball” is that the whole roster consists of positionless players. Throw DJ Wilson into any lineup. How about three point guards and no traditional bigs? No matter what, you feel comfortable interchanging almost every player at a position they’ve probably never played. Welp, they’re first in the league in rebounds and second in blocks so they might be on to something.

   Ok, that’s all well and cool, but I know who you really want me to talk about. The damn Greek God they have on salary who was built in a lab to play basketball and dunk people’s souls out of their bodies. Trust me I didn’t forget Giannis. How could I miss the reincarnation of Shaquille O’Neal in an Olympic sprinter’s body?  You’re not listening he’s literally Shaq. He makes 8 shots in the restricted area a game which is higher than what Shaq did in the 1999-00 season where he established the record of 571 makes in said zone. Shaq even dubbed Giannis the moniker of Superman, which if you know anything about his beef with Dwight Howard is a big deal. Giannis is seemingly unstoppable.

   Now let’s look at the Pistons, a team that can’t even choreograph a video bomb at an appropriate time.

   Milwaukee is celebrated for their personnel choices while Detroit couldn’t be further from having a cohesive unit. This team is an anomaly. Yes, they take a lot of threes, a good percentage of their points come from them actually, and I’ve literally spent two paragraphs telling you how great that is for a team, but in this case, it’s a bad thing. The Pistons are 22nd in the league in three-point percentage and 29th in field goal percentage. This team can’t shoot at all. This is like getting upset that you’re a socially awkward, zit covered, braced face 15-year-old wondering why the girl of your dreams chose your best friend over you. Maybe you ain’t got the right pieces young Bryce.

   Blake Griffin is carrying the entire organization on his shoulders right now along with probably the entire American made car industry. The man leads his team in assists at 5 a game, from the 4 position, all while scoring 26 points a night. As a Thunder fan, I completely understand the effects of having Reggie Jackson on your team. You make him your starting point guard though, of course, this happens.

On average the Pistons score 105 points a game. If you’re keeping stats at home that’s a whopping 10 points less than the Bucks and a seat at 24th worst in the league. The damn Knicks score more points a game. The same Knicks who have won 10 games and would trade their entire active roster for Zion Williamson right now.

With Milwaukee being the third best team at covering the spread and the best to cover after a loss, they’re a safe bet here regardless of actual basketball ability. On the court though, the Pistons would have a better shot at getting the government to give Flint clean water than to outscore the Bucks tomorrow night. (It’s been three years and still nothing by the way.) We’re pulling up wide open from 30-feet tonight.